Sticks and Stones

I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” We’ve probably all said it as kids. But it’s dumb! Words DO hurt!! Sure, sticks and stones hurt and probably can break bones or at least cut you, but words? Geez. Words can hurt like heck if used wrongly. According to a write-up in Literary Devices: The proverb “sticks and stones may break my bones” is said to have its initial traces in 1844, in Alexander William Kinglake’s book where it is used as “golden sticks and stones.” Later, it was cited in The Christian Recorder of March published in 1862, where it was stated as; “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break me.” 

Words break you. Words can crush you spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. And when that happens, you suffer physically. So words do hurt. We should use them wisely.

 

When someone says something hurtful to you, it's important to know that your feelings are valid, regardless of whether or not it was intentional. Don’t look at yourself as “not being able to take criticism” or as weak or too sensitive. You may need to take a step back from the situation if you feel yourself beginning to lose your temper, which is perfectly fine.

 

Make sure that you explain to the person why the comment was hurtful. If it was intentionally meant to hurt you, or if they refuse to apologize or listen, move on from it and distance yourself from them. Know that you were the better person for acting mature and sticking up for yourself. They’re the ones with the problem, not you. Remember not to ruminate. Set boundaries with other people and let them know what's okay and what's not okay.

 

It's also important to accept the fact that we will always be hurt at one time or another and that it’s a part of life. Let it be a learning experience that teaches you the importance of showing kindness towards others. Always listen to other people and show that you care. Apologize if necessary (even if it wasn't intentional). It’s all about communication and getting our needs met.

Tell others that words, indeed, can hurt, and teach them the value of showing kindness and compassion towards others.

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