Let's Talk About...Feelings

In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, I thought it would be a good idea to make a post about our feelings and interactions with others. Are we really honest about our feelings?

Some Examples

When someone asks us, "How are you?" and we say, "I'm good, how are you?" or "I'm fine, thanks," are we being honest? Well... sometimes. There are countless times, though, that just about all of us put on a fake smile and give the same positive reply every time. It is often used more as a form of politeness than the actual truth underneath.

Why do we do it? 

A lot of it is a reflection on society and how we were raised. We are taught at a young age to be a people-pleaser and to not be a "burden" on anyone. To not complain about our problems when someone else always has them way worse than us. When someone asks us how we are doing, we often take it as a formality and not a genuine question. We don't want people to think we have "messed up" lives or bad days. What goes on behind closed doors, we don't want other people to know. Sometimes even close friends don't know because we are ashamed of what they might think of us. Or we don't want them to "have to worry" about us.

 

Facebook and other social media platforms are a perfect example of how someone's life can look completely different than it does in real life. We see smiling faces and people posing with their friends and families at events and then think to ourselves, "Why can't I be like that? Then our self-esteem takes a blow. I just can't seem to get it together. I wish I was more social, I wish I had a better job and more money like this person, I wish I looked as good as that person...and on and on it goes. 

How can we change our views about feelings?

I say, perhaps we should take a bit of a mental break from social media and go up to someone in person and genuinely ask how they are doing. Ask them questions about their lives. Give that person a phone call that you've been meaning to make for months. We need to check in on each other! Did you ever get a strange feeling that something wasn't quite "right" with someone? Ask them how their day has been. What have they been up to lately? How are they feeling health-wise? 

 

This month (or any time in general!) is the perfect opportunity to see life from a new perspective. It is so important that we recognize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with having feelings! It's how we were created. There is nothing wrong with being angry about something or feeling hurt or upset. Feelings are natural. Perhaps it should be more about what we do with our feelings.

When a close family member or friend asks you how you've been, be honest about it. To be honest, I've been having a hard time this month. I'm experiencing health issues. I just lost someone close to me. Oftentimes, the other person has been there or is going through the exact same thing, and you would never know it. 

You never know what's really going on in someone's life because so many people keep it a secret. How about we don't keep it a secret anymore and learn how to have open conversations with others and look out for one another? Getting your feelings out in the open will also be cathartic and comforting for you, even just to have someone listen without giving you any advice. Just having someone by your side to lean on can be enough. Let's talk about our feelings!

 

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